I want to let this image speak to you of the things you need to hear.

Pause and listen. That is what I want to offer to you: a reason to pause, a reason to listen to yourself.

Behind the Image:

I took this photo many years ago at a workshop with Brooke Shaden. She had models present for us to photograph in order to create images that we could take home and make our own.

There were many photographers present and only three models, so it was more of a collaborative effort. Having never worked with models before and having lower self-confidence (who am I to be here in the midst of all of these professionals?!), I mostly stood back and photographed whatever appeared in front of me.

At one point during the session, I had a sudden desire to see these two women - one in the color of fire, passion, yang energy, and the other in the color of peacefulness, innocence, yin energy - in a yin/yang type entwinement. Swallowing all fear that would’ve kept me from doing otherwise, I spoke up amidst the crowd of photographers and asked the models if they could lay on the ground in such an arrangement. (I love how willing they were to move themselves into whatever crazy ideas we were having.)

Unfortunately, I lost my nerve to direct after about 30 seconds into getting them lying together. Other photographers started shooting or calling out suggestions, so with some reluctance, I took the shots that I could. The models had arranged themselves closely enough to the idea that I had, and I was thrilled that I had even gotten that far with joining what was in my mind to what I was seeing in front of me.

To this day, those couple of minutes of this day-long workshop remain my favorite. I didn’t get the exact images I was hoping for, but I took a small step in the direction I wanted to be going. I moved towards creating something that I wanted to create. I felt the fear, the uncertainty, the doubt, the comparison and less-than-ness, and I moved forward with it all.

These days, I still feel every single bit of those inner chains. With a bow of gratitude to myself and my practices, I am, however, much more likely to speak up - to create what I want to see in the world despite the forces working against me (mostly inside of me).

Even remembering this as I type fuels an energy to do this more, to direct more, to photograph more, to create what I want to have been created.

Pause. Listen. Create.